Based on Lam, attachment types are influenced by genetics, early attachment experiences, cumulative relational experiences, and traumatic stress.
Evolutionarily talking, people brains are born untimely, and plenty of areas of the mind usually are not totally wired simply but. “Early attachment experiences between the younger youngster and the caregivers due to this fact have a major impression on the ‘relational software program’ within the mind,” Lam explains. “There’s a sure threshold for the mind to internalize a safe attachment template, [which develops through] about 30% attunement and the remainder [through] pure rupture and restore.” With out correct attunement, the kid internalizes an insecure attachment template.
Within the case of the anxious preoccupied attachment fashion, a baby who grew up with inconsistent caregiving feels confused about their caregiver’s means to be there for them. Generally they had been there, and typically they weren’t. As a result of they by no means skilled the whole security and safety they wanted to ascertain a powerful self-worth, this manifests into an attachment fashion filled with doubt about their caregiver’s behaviors and love. With out that safety, they develop up fearful of somebody’s means to actually be there for them and love them again the best way they need.
This causes the anxious-preoccupied particular person to really feel deeply insecure, but dependent, of their romantic relationships. Afterward, they could repeat the identical drama of uncertainty as an grownup as a result of it secretly reaffirms their damaging beliefs about themselves and love.